February 2, 2013
The Medilexicon Medical Dictionary defines MENOPAUSE as: The permanent cessation of the menses due to ovarian failure; termination of the menstrual life.
Two words from that definition jump out at you: FAILURE AND TERMINATION. Really? Could you find two words that have more of a negative connotation? Wouldn't it be nicer and more pleasing to say, oh, I don't, something like "the birth of a new day where your body is your own again!" or even "the time in your life when you never have to worry again about having a tampon or a pad in your purse just in case?" These sound a little more positive, don't they?
From a medical viewpoint tho, where everything is clinical and didactic, this definition is accurate. Menopause is the time in a woman's life when the period begins to ebb, hormones run rampantly like they did in puberty, and many psychological and physical changes occur within a woman's body and psyche. The normal age range for this to start is anywhere from 45-55 years old. It can take 2-5 years to complete (Good Lord!) and most women will experience a myriad of symptoms from hot flashes, to adult onset acne, severe mood swings ( think Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest),forgetfulness and sleep disturbances.
If this sounds anything like your life of late, Welcome to Menopause! I've been a card carrying member for the past 6 months.
I woke up one beautiful June day and set out for a luncheon date with two friends. I was on line in Panera, placing my order when suddenly a bucket of boiling hot water was thrown on me! Well, not really thrown: more like doused form within! In two seconds flat I had sweat pouring off the ends of my hair, dripping onto my tray. The pour cash register kid was so upset. One second he was smiling and taking my credit card, the next he was fanning me with napkins. I don't know who was more horrified and embarrassed: me or him!
I thought: well this certainly sucks. I hadn't had anything like this happen to me EVER.
Fast forward two months and I was at my niece's college send-off party. I was sitting in chair in the backyard, having a conversation with one of my brothers in law when: woosh! Drenched again from head to toe in two seconds flat. No warning, no setup, just pints of sweat pouring from my body. Everyone at the table started fanning me with napkins and offering me glasses of water. This time I was more pissed off than embarrassed because my hair - which I had taken forty minutes to straighten - was curling like a Hardee's curly french fry from the sweat!
Nothing much happened again for a few more months. Then I started having trouble sleeping. I'm not the best sleeper in the world but I can usually manage 4 or 5 hours a night. Right around Christmas I was waking up almost every hour, as hot as could be. I'd throw of the covers and try to sleep on top of them. The night sweats started full blast after New Years. Six or seven times a night I'd wake up, drenched, like I had leukemia or some weird exotic blood disease, and have to change my bed clothes and sometimes even take the pillow case off the pillow, it was so wet.
Then I started forgetting things. Important things like: did I turn the stove on before I put the chicken in to cook? Did I pay the electric bill, because there's no record of it in the checkbook? What's my cell phone number? I thought this might be happening because I wasn't sleeping, or had overnight developed early onset Alzhiemers, but no: it's another symptom a lot of women experience. Yay for me! I got a trifecta: continuous hot flashes with sweats, insomnia, and now forgetfulness.
Lovely. This is when I began researching just exactly what was going on with me, what more could I expect to happen and how the heck long was it going to last. I happen to be the oldest of all my friends, so I decided to put this blog together to be informative and - lets face it - cathartic for me. Being armed with the best, most educated, and most up-to-date knowledge helps me whenever I am facing something new and scary.
And believe me: this situation is SCAAAARY!
But I'm not anything if not resourceful and stubborn. I vow not to let this get the better of me, sweat or no sweat, flash or no flash. SO keep reading along and we'll all learn something together that will hopefully benefit, education, and elicit a chuckle or two.
The Medilexicon Medical Dictionary defines MENOPAUSE as: The permanent cessation of the menses due to ovarian failure; termination of the menstrual life.
Two words from that definition jump out at you: FAILURE AND TERMINATION. Really? Could you find two words that have more of a negative connotation? Wouldn't it be nicer and more pleasing to say, oh, I don't, something like "the birth of a new day where your body is your own again!" or even "the time in your life when you never have to worry again about having a tampon or a pad in your purse just in case?" These sound a little more positive, don't they?
From a medical viewpoint tho, where everything is clinical and didactic, this definition is accurate. Menopause is the time in a woman's life when the period begins to ebb, hormones run rampantly like they did in puberty, and many psychological and physical changes occur within a woman's body and psyche. The normal age range for this to start is anywhere from 45-55 years old. It can take 2-5 years to complete (Good Lord!) and most women will experience a myriad of symptoms from hot flashes, to adult onset acne, severe mood swings ( think Joan Crawford in Mommy Dearest),forgetfulness and sleep disturbances.
If this sounds anything like your life of late, Welcome to Menopause! I've been a card carrying member for the past 6 months.
I woke up one beautiful June day and set out for a luncheon date with two friends. I was on line in Panera, placing my order when suddenly a bucket of boiling hot water was thrown on me! Well, not really thrown: more like doused form within! In two seconds flat I had sweat pouring off the ends of my hair, dripping onto my tray. The pour cash register kid was so upset. One second he was smiling and taking my credit card, the next he was fanning me with napkins. I don't know who was more horrified and embarrassed: me or him!
I thought: well this certainly sucks. I hadn't had anything like this happen to me EVER.
Fast forward two months and I was at my niece's college send-off party. I was sitting in chair in the backyard, having a conversation with one of my brothers in law when: woosh! Drenched again from head to toe in two seconds flat. No warning, no setup, just pints of sweat pouring from my body. Everyone at the table started fanning me with napkins and offering me glasses of water. This time I was more pissed off than embarrassed because my hair - which I had taken forty minutes to straighten - was curling like a Hardee's curly french fry from the sweat!
Nothing much happened again for a few more months. Then I started having trouble sleeping. I'm not the best sleeper in the world but I can usually manage 4 or 5 hours a night. Right around Christmas I was waking up almost every hour, as hot as could be. I'd throw of the covers and try to sleep on top of them. The night sweats started full blast after New Years. Six or seven times a night I'd wake up, drenched, like I had leukemia or some weird exotic blood disease, and have to change my bed clothes and sometimes even take the pillow case off the pillow, it was so wet.
Then I started forgetting things. Important things like: did I turn the stove on before I put the chicken in to cook? Did I pay the electric bill, because there's no record of it in the checkbook? What's my cell phone number? I thought this might be happening because I wasn't sleeping, or had overnight developed early onset Alzhiemers, but no: it's another symptom a lot of women experience. Yay for me! I got a trifecta: continuous hot flashes with sweats, insomnia, and now forgetfulness.
Lovely. This is when I began researching just exactly what was going on with me, what more could I expect to happen and how the heck long was it going to last. I happen to be the oldest of all my friends, so I decided to put this blog together to be informative and - lets face it - cathartic for me. Being armed with the best, most educated, and most up-to-date knowledge helps me whenever I am facing something new and scary.
And believe me: this situation is SCAAAARY!
But I'm not anything if not resourceful and stubborn. I vow not to let this get the better of me, sweat or no sweat, flash or no flash. SO keep reading along and we'll all learn something together that will hopefully benefit, education, and elicit a chuckle or two.
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