The Seven Dwarves of Menopause:


Online the other day I saw a cartoon with Disney’s seven dwarves, depicted as the seven dwarves of menopause: Psycho, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Moody, Bloated, and Forgetful.

Somehow I can’t quite imagine these guys walking a straight line and singing “Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off to work we go,” can you?

I have been each of these dwarves at one time or another during my FBM time ( full blown menopause). Psycho, Bitchy and Moody all go hand in hand and need no explanation, while Sleepy and Sweaty are fraternal twins.  Sweaty actually gives birth to Sleepy due to rearing its ugly head at night. Bloated can lead to Moody and Psycho, and Forgetful just hangs out by himself, making my life miserable.

As I’m writing this I realize how NEGATIVE this all sounds. Really, is there one descriptor above that you can say is a POSITIVE one? I can’t.  So I’m going to dig deep and try and find some positive words I can attribute to menopause.

And I mean really deep.

Freedom: Okay this one is easy. Freedom from monthly periods and all the hassles that go with that. Freedom from the worry of an unplanned pregnancy.
Spontaneity: This one’s easy too: sex anywhere, anytime without worries about the above two ( period and pregnancy).
Economical: I don’t need heat or sweaters anymore to stay warm. My body does it naturally for me now, so I can save some bucks on oil and clothes.
Effective Time Management: I had to dig a little for this one, but it makes sense so listen: I don’t sleep as much as I used to before FBM, so if I am up at four in the morning, I am usually doing something productive ( like writing this blog) or laundry. Because of that I have more time during the day and never feel rushed anymore to get tasks completed.
Unconcerned: dug a little deeper here, too, but for this one, I’m at the point in my life where I really don’t care much if someone doesn’t like me. I used to be a humongous people pleaser. I wanted – no, needed – to feel that people liked me. Now, I don’t give a f**k. Like me, hate me. It’s all the same to me. I know the person I am. I don’t need to prove anything anymore. I guess this one, even though it sounds positive, really is a little closer to the negative scale. Maybe, just a titch.

What positives can you come up with for being in menopause. Share them with me.


Comments

Post a Comment

Share your story!

Popular posts from this blog

Crepey skin or Creepy skin?

Image
So last week I wrote about how there's a humongous marketing push for women of a certain age - read MENOPAUSAL! - and skin care. Every major cosmetic and skin care line now sells a separate line for the woman over 50. These lines are branded as youth in a bottle and non-surgical corrective cures for saggy, wrinkly, aging skin. If only. One particular line deals with an aging skin issue ( and don't I hate that phrase!) called crepey skin. The definition is skin that looks thin and dull and wrinkly, like crepe paper. Seriously?? When did this become a "thing?" Well, I'd never heard about crepey skin until I saw Jane Seymour hawking her line of skin cream called CREPE ERASE. Jane has Dr. Andrew Ordon explain why the skin turns to the consistency of crepe paper  and shows you how, after using this product, within 60 days there is a quantifiable and visible change in the appearance of the skin. So, for full disclosure here, I have this affliction. Crepey
Read more

The skinny on my neck

Image
So a few months ago I told y'all I'd started using Crepe Erase on my neck to combat the signs of aging, crepey, old-lady looking skin there. You know: that cracked, ugly, dry and turkeyneck-looking skin that covers your neck and decollate. I've used it consistently and persistently for 2 months, twice a day - morning and night, along with the exfoliating rub in the shower. The results? While my skin FEELS softer, it looks no younger, no less turkey-ish, no  less...crepey. Sometimes my skin even feels a little greasy, especially when I use it at night. So the thought now is do I stop using it or keep trying to see if there are any real cumulative, long term positive effects. It's a conundrum. The stuff costs' $49.00 per month and I get a delivery every three months. Right now I'm on round 2 ( the first supply was only for a month.) So I still have some time left before I get to the 6 month mark which is when I typically stop using stuff if I see no mark
Read more

Unconventional Actions - Don't judge me!

Image
I've been talking about my never-ending struggle  to lose any/all/something of the weight I've gained during the time I started menopause until this moment in time. Nothing has worked so far, in fact, my weight keeps creeping upward. Creeping ? Jiminy crickets, it's on the fast track! So, in an attempt to try something different, I went and got Hypnotized this past Saturday. Yes, me, little Miss Naysayer, actually went to a seminar where you can get hypnotized to lose weight. It was....interesting, to say the least. One of the best things about it is that I was the thinnest person in the room except for the hypnotist. And I realize how horrible I sound saying that, but anytime I can be the thinnest person ANYWHERE is a major plus for my fragile ego. So. The seminar was 2 hours. One was devoted to a detailed, medicine-backed lecture on why dieting doesn't work, the way our bodies process sugar and fat, and the ways we've slowly been killing ourselves w
Read more