The Seven Dwarves of Menopause:


Online the other day I saw a cartoon with Disney’s seven dwarves, depicted as the seven dwarves of menopause: Psycho, Bitchy, Sweaty, Sleepy, Moody, Bloated, and Forgetful.

Somehow I can’t quite imagine these guys walking a straight line and singing “Hi Ho Hi Ho it’s off to work we go,” can you?

I have been each of these dwarves at one time or another during my FBM time ( full blown menopause). Psycho, Bitchy and Moody all go hand in hand and need no explanation, while Sleepy and Sweaty are fraternal twins.  Sweaty actually gives birth to Sleepy due to rearing its ugly head at night. Bloated can lead to Moody and Psycho, and Forgetful just hangs out by himself, making my life miserable.

As I’m writing this I realize how NEGATIVE this all sounds. Really, is there one descriptor above that you can say is a POSITIVE one? I can’t.  So I’m going to dig deep and try and find some positive words I can attribute to menopause.

And I mean really deep.

Freedom: Okay this one is easy. Freedom from monthly periods and all the hassles that go with that. Freedom from the worry of an unplanned pregnancy.
Spontaneity: This one’s easy too: sex anywhere, anytime without worries about the above two ( period and pregnancy).
Economical: I don’t need heat or sweaters anymore to stay warm. My body does it naturally for me now, so I can save some bucks on oil and clothes.
Effective Time Management: I had to dig a little for this one, but it makes sense so listen: I don’t sleep as much as I used to before FBM, so if I am up at four in the morning, I am usually doing something productive ( like writing this blog) or laundry. Because of that I have more time during the day and never feel rushed anymore to get tasks completed.
Unconcerned: dug a little deeper here, too, but for this one, I’m at the point in my life where I really don’t care much if someone doesn’t like me. I used to be a humongous people pleaser. I wanted – no, needed – to feel that people liked me. Now, I don’t give a f**k. Like me, hate me. It’s all the same to me. I know the person I am. I don’t need to prove anything anymore. I guess this one, even though it sounds positive, really is a little closer to the negative scale. Maybe, just a titch.

What positives can you come up with for being in menopause. Share them with me.


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