Baby, You can Drive my Car...
No disrespect to the Beatles, but today we're going to chat about SEX DRIVE during and after Menopause. ( Get the title now?)
SEX DRIVE is the biological part of the Desire equation. It varies from person to person even when you're not at this time of your life. We've all known women - and men- about whom we can say, "He/She has an enormous sex drive, or sexual appetite." Usually when we say this it's followed by cattiness or gossip, but all that aside, you've gotta have the drive to do the act. Typically, if you didn't have a strong desire to have sex before menopause, you can bet it won't increase with the onset. But what if you had a happy, fulfilling sex drive and then all of a sudden it's like you're trying to drive your car with the big "E" lighting up? (There's that car pun again.) If you're just not interested in sex, but your partner is, that's an emotional bomb waiting to explode in a relationship.
Part of the problem is directly correlated to the hormone changes. You're loosing all the chemicals that make you a female, so why not lose the sexual aspect of as well? From an anthropological viewpoint, this makes sense. If you no longer can procreate and propagate the species, you should no longer require or want sex, right?
WRONGO with a capital WRONG.
Let's be real: Sex is fun. There's nothing wrong with saying that, because it's the truth. So, if the hormone levels drop and with it, the physical desire to engage but not the emotional or psychological desire, then we need to gas up the engine ( Car pun, yet again!) and rev it. How, you ask? Lots of ways.
One of the first ways is to get your levels balanced again. Hormone therapy with or without prescription drugs ( remember those phytoestrogens?) will add some balance back into the equation. Being adequately nourished and hydrated makes you feel better overall, and can help with homeostasis within the body, making you feel more like your old sexual self. Adequate exercise, both physically and mentally is a sure-fire way to make you feel better about yourself. Chronic stress kills. Everything. From your brain cells, to your heart cells. Our bodies think of stress as a threat to our lives, so, going on the evolutionary scale, when we feel threatened, we shut down all the vital things in our body that don't require us to survive. So, sex isn't exactly one of mother nature's vitals, like breathing or having your heart beat are. You don't NEED sex to live - although I could argue that point for pages, but I digress. So if you don't need it, your body won't want it. And if you don't want it, you won't go looking for it. Hence, a perfect storm of sexlessness. Get rid of the stress. No arguments.
From an evolution standpoint, sex=procreation=propagation of the species. When you no longer need to procreate, you STILL want to perform the act. So go ahead. If you need a little jump start ( car pun x 3!), try something new. Stay healthy. Rid yourself of stress ( if you can) and for God's sake, laugh about it. Have fun. You deserve it.
SEX DRIVE is the biological part of the Desire equation. It varies from person to person even when you're not at this time of your life. We've all known women - and men- about whom we can say, "He/She has an enormous sex drive, or sexual appetite." Usually when we say this it's followed by cattiness or gossip, but all that aside, you've gotta have the drive to do the act. Typically, if you didn't have a strong desire to have sex before menopause, you can bet it won't increase with the onset. But what if you had a happy, fulfilling sex drive and then all of a sudden it's like you're trying to drive your car with the big "E" lighting up? (There's that car pun again.) If you're just not interested in sex, but your partner is, that's an emotional bomb waiting to explode in a relationship.
Part of the problem is directly correlated to the hormone changes. You're loosing all the chemicals that make you a female, so why not lose the sexual aspect of as well? From an anthropological viewpoint, this makes sense. If you no longer can procreate and propagate the species, you should no longer require or want sex, right?
WRONGO with a capital WRONG.
Let's be real: Sex is fun. There's nothing wrong with saying that, because it's the truth. So, if the hormone levels drop and with it, the physical desire to engage but not the emotional or psychological desire, then we need to gas up the engine ( Car pun, yet again!) and rev it. How, you ask? Lots of ways.
One of the first ways is to get your levels balanced again. Hormone therapy with or without prescription drugs ( remember those phytoestrogens?) will add some balance back into the equation. Being adequately nourished and hydrated makes you feel better overall, and can help with homeostasis within the body, making you feel more like your old sexual self. Adequate exercise, both physically and mentally is a sure-fire way to make you feel better about yourself. Chronic stress kills. Everything. From your brain cells, to your heart cells. Our bodies think of stress as a threat to our lives, so, going on the evolutionary scale, when we feel threatened, we shut down all the vital things in our body that don't require us to survive. So, sex isn't exactly one of mother nature's vitals, like breathing or having your heart beat are. You don't NEED sex to live - although I could argue that point for pages, but I digress. So if you don't need it, your body won't want it. And if you don't want it, you won't go looking for it. Hence, a perfect storm of sexlessness. Get rid of the stress. No arguments.
From an evolution standpoint, sex=procreation=propagation of the species. When you no longer need to procreate, you STILL want to perform the act. So go ahead. If you need a little jump start ( car pun x 3!), try something new. Stay healthy. Rid yourself of stress ( if you can) and for God's sake, laugh about it. Have fun. You deserve it.
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